Airport security song lyrics funny story: Security Strip Searched Granny.Turban conspirators SWAT MickTerry.com

Airport security song lyrics funny story: Security Strip Searched Granny. Turban conspirators SWAT MICK TERRY
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( Funny airport security story song lyrics )
SECURITY STRIP-SEARCHED GRANNY
Copyright 2005 - MickTerry.com

On  Airport security song lyrics funny story:  Security Strip Searched Granny  YouTube live video by  MICK TERRY YouTube,  performed  LIVE  by  MICK TERRY



With his beady eyes & his bearded stubble,
there he stood in line ahead.
I could tell right off that he looked like trouble
from the turban on his head.

I am not some kind of a raging racist,
but some profiling might work
to protect our planes & important places
from the suicidal jerks.

But Security quickly passed him onward
& he boarded on our plane.
When it came our time as the line inched forward,
it was nowhere near the same.

    SECURITY STRIP-SEARCHED GRANNY
    when they found her fingernail file.
    SECURITY STRIP-SEARCHED GRANNY,
    interrogated her for a long while.
    They tore apart her carry-on
    & they kept us off of our flight.
    SECURITY STRIP-SEARCHED GRANNY
    throughout the bitter cold night.

She took off her coat, emptied all her pockets,
pulled the bridgework from her teeth.
Granny placed her rings & her two gold lockets
through the big X-ray machine.

Then they found the file that my wife had bought her,
got the SWAT team here on the spot.
& they grabbed my wife & my teenage daughter:
co-conspirators in some plot.

    CHORUS

        I can see where my shoelaces
        could make a slim-line gavotte.
        I concede that my dental floss
        could make a hangman's knot.
        I am willing to put all my freedoms
        on a temporary hold.
        I am willing to do lots of things
        so we can catch these criminals cold.

No complaints when they took my own nail clipper
& my triple-headed Schick.
But when they took my son's plastic Star light-saber,
I had had enough of this.

        "Back off or I shave the pilot":
        a plastic knife to the Captain's throat.
        "I've got a shoe heel & I know how to use it."
        But Security can't take a joke.

    CHORUS

Seems they missed the point of my subtle humor
as the SWAT team hit me low.
Still my fam'ly's trial won't come any sooner
in the tents at Guantanamo.

That the turbaned man wasn't bent on terror
left me feeling rather dumb.
It turned out that he's just a simple farmer
with his crop of opium.

    CHORUS

Copyright 2005  MICK TERRY  Silent Tree Music  All rights reserved
[ Reprinted here by permission of the composer-lyricist ]   BMI
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11-1-13:
1st fatal shooting of TSA agent
http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/04/justice/lax-shooting/

11-15-10:
"... if you touch my junk, I'm going to have you arrested." -
rebellion against TSA full-body pat-down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R24DyuoZLaM
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/18/AR2010111804494.html

4-13-10:
TSA pat-down 6-year-old girl at New Orleans airport
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/parents-year-girl-pat-airport-procedures-changed/story?id=13363740

11-16-10:
Furor over increased full body scans & pat-downs.
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/46104/

To other story song lyrics:   HEY, MISTER!
To other crime song lyrics:   FORTY BIBLES
To other police song lyrics:   IT'S JUST A JOB
To other prison song lyrics: A DIFFERENT MAN
To other airport song lyrics:   RATTLED IN SEATTLE
To other terrorism song lyrics:   SLEEPER CELL
COPYCAT, COPYCAT
BIN LADEN, BIN LADEN
LITTLE TIMMY (McVEIGH)
NORTON ANTI-TERRORIST
HEY! YOU TALKING TO ME?
MY NAME IS ALBERT KYDAH
SADDAMI, SADDAMI, BALONEY
I GOT PROBLEM WITH AMERICA
IF WE'RE GOING DOWN (FLIGHT 93)
RUNNING OUT OF VIRGINS IN HEAVEN
TERRORISTS DON'T TAKE A VACATION
THE DAY THE WORLD STOOD STILL (9-11)
OOPS, WE BOMBED THE WRONG COUNTRY
SUICIDE BOMBERS (CAN'T BE ALL THAT BRIGHT)
To the TOP
BACK to SONG LYRICS

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