Silent Tree Music - Song Lyrics
( Funny eBay online auction bid song lyrics )
I SOLD MY WIFE ON eBay
Copyright © 2005 - MickTerry.com
On YouTube, performed LIVE by MICK TERRY
Things have not been going too smoothly
between Jessica & me.
There are no more plates or vases left to throw.
There are pockmarks in the plaster
'though she's vacuumed the debris.
& it's been some time that I've wanted her to go.
But then, she insists upon staying:
something 'bout our wedding vows,
how we swore we'd be forever, thick or thin.
& she's gotten more thickheaded
& she's thicker than a cow.
But I've thinned it down to one way where I can win.
I SOLD MY WIFE ON eBAY to some unsuspecting fool.
I dumped her in exchange for a load of cash.
I SOLD MY WIFE ON eBAY. Yeah, & that was pretty cool
& next her mother's going up for grabs.
Now, she doesn't know she's been auctioned
for the highest bid online.
Thought I'd tell her once she's packed inside the crate
with enough food for the shipping
& I know she'll be just fine.
& besides, by then it would really be too late.
eBay, schmeeBay: you can sell anything at all.
You can always find some sucker willing to buy.
eBay, schmeeBay: all the virtues you can extol
in the ad you place on line, but you'd better not lie.
So, my ad was worded precisely:
optimized her few good points,
made the least of any drawbacks, faults or sins.
Well, the bidding went quite nicely
& the buyer will enjoy
how she likes to throw: he's a catcher for The Twins.
Copyright © 2005 MICK TERRY Silent Tree Music All rights reserved
[ Reprinted here by permission of the composer-lyricist ] BMI
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( The 500+ original song lyrics written by Mick Terry on this site are not necessarily politically correct, funny or intelligent.
If you are offended by any of these lyrics, then we are sorry that we misunderestimated your senses of humanity & humor. ) ( sic )
Brier Patch Ramble Magazine (Ain't Poetry, Dammit!) 5-1-14
* Mick Terry was censured by the President of Greenbrier Estates HOA,
finding this song offensive, stating:
"Domestic violence, humiliation are never ok ... This one is very degrading to women".
Freedom of the press & our First Amendment rights at their finest
( & maybe a slighted sense of humor ).
To other breakup love song lyrics:
To other technology song lyrics: LIFE.COM
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LOST IN A VOICE MAIL JUNGLE
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DAY AFTER ROSWELL (OF CORSO)
THE COMPUTER ATE MY HOMEWORK
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