eBay song funny lyrics: I Sold My Wife on eBay song. Online auction bid funny eBay song lyrics MickTerry

eBay song funny lyrics: I Sold My Wife on eBay song. Online auction bid funny eBay song lyrics MICK TERRY
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( Funny eBay online auction bid song lyrics )
I SOLD MY WIFE ON eBay
Copyright 2005 - MickTerry.com

On  eBay song funny lyrics: I Sold My Wife on eBay song. Online auction bid eBay lyrics MICK TERRY YouTube YouTube,  performed  LIVE  by  MICK TERRY



Things have not been going too smoothly
between Jessica & me.
There are no more plates or vases left to throw.
There are pockmarks in the plaster
'though she's vacuumed the debris.
& it's been some time that I've wanted her to go.

But then, she insists upon staying:
something 'bout our wedding vows,
how we swore we'd be forever, thick or thin.
& she's gotten more thickheaded
& she's thicker than a cow.
But I've thinned it down to one way where I can win.

   I SOLD MY WIFE ON eBAY to some unsuspecting fool.
   I dumped her in exchange for a load of cash.
   I SOLD MY WIFE ON eBAY. Yeah, & that was pretty cool
   & next her mother's going up for grabs.

Now, she doesn't know she's been auctioned
for the highest bid online.
Thought I'd tell her once she's packed inside the crate
with enough food for the shipping
& I know she'll be just fine.
& besides, by then it would really be too late.

    CHORUS

        eBay, schmeeBay: you can sell anything at all.
        You can always find some sucker willing to buy.
        eBay, schmeeBay: all the virtues you can extol
        in the ad you place on line, but you'd better not lie.

So, my ad was worded precisely:
optimized her few good points,
made the least of any drawbacks, faults or sins.
Well, the bidding went quite nicely
& the buyer will enjoy
how she likes to throw:   he's a catcher for The Twins.

    CHORUS

Copyright 2005  MICK TERRY  Silent Tree Music  All rights reserved
[ Reprinted here by permission of the composer-lyricist ]   BMI
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  ( The 500+ original song lyrics written by  Mick Terry  on this site are not necessarily politically correct, funny or intelligent.
If you are offended by any of these lyrics, then we are sorry that we misunderestimated your senses of humanity & humor. )
    ( sic )


eBay song funny lyrics: I Sold My Wife on eBay song. Online auction bid funny eBay song lyrics. MickTerry.com 5-1-14  Brier Patch Ramble Magazine  (Ain't Poetry, Dammit!)  5-1-14

*   Mick Terry was censured by the President of Greenbrier Estates HOA,
finding this song offensive, stating:
"Domestic violence, humiliation are never ok ... This one is very degrading to women".
Freedom of the press & our First Amendment rights at their finest
( & maybe a slighted sense of humor ).

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DAY AFTER ROSWELL (OF CORSO)
THE COMPUTER ATE MY HOMEWORK
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